Are you one of those people in the just-being-honest crowd who says whatever the hell they please as long as it’s true in their opinion? Do you think that those words alone negate any inflicted pain or thoughtlessness on your part?
Well, I’ll be honest right now, I used to think that way for a long while myself. I would “say it as it is” and I felt like I was just doing the dirty work that others were too afraid to do. I was telling the hard truth and if they didn’t like it? Too bad for them. I was just being honest.
The problem with just being honest lies in the just. There is nothing wrong with being honest, and honesty should always be encouraged. Sometimes we need to relay difficult truths to others and it’s not always easy to either say or to hear.
However, if you are just being honest you are not being tactful. Do you know what’s better than just being honest? Being honest and compassionate, thoughtful, loving, polite and considerate.
Being honest doesn’t mean that you have a free pass towards being an insensitive prick. Think about the words you choose and how your honesty is going to be taken by the one you’re dropping truth bombs on. If you’re a person with tact, you can be honest and it may sting, but measures of consideration and loving support speak volumes in all interpersonal relationships!
That sort of honesty is also much more effective at making it past the receiving party’s defences! This turns just honesty into constructive feedback.
Those who enjoy the brutal type of honesty are often bigger fanatics of the brutality than the honesty.
No matter how hurt or angry or frustrated you are in dishing out your severe form of honest justice. If you are not showing consideration to the affected party then you are simply undercutting your own point and making yourself look like a fool as well.
Try leading by example when taking the high ground in life rather than throwing gas on the fire and acting surprised by the fact that you got burned.
You’d be shocked how often you can do without just being honest!